2018 was an amazing whirlwind of a year. I transitioned to working part time at my job since everything seemed to be going well at the end of 2017. I had some sponsored posts, an e-course client, and a brand partnership. By January of 2018, I had none of that stuff (of course! It’s how life works!) and I basically had to start from scratch. But before I could even start a plan on how to make that happen, life said “Nope! Not this year.”
It all started on Jan 31 when I found out I was pregnant. The blog post has the whole story but let’s just say I was shocked and thrilled when I found out and literally everything changed after that. For starters, I was exhausted the first trimester and some days I could barely get myself to do anything besides watch tv on my days off. I also felt nauseous, so it was pretty hard to do anything... let alone blog work. I think I did the fewest blog posts EVER this year and in the end it was ok. I had a lot of time to think and made some amazing mindset changes. More on that later.
By the end of spring, I was starting to feel better (and, getting bigger!). I found out baby was a girl and I created the best blog post about it, in my humble opinion.
Despite feeling better, the attic was such a mess and I was out of the posting loop for so long that I kinda gave up blogging. I was seriously going through a funk and going on social media and seeing everyone else’s posts really bummed me out. I wanted to create blog posts more than anything, but I’d sort of lost the spark.
Most of the summer was spent with me getting bigger and bigger by the day. I spent most of my time working on my photography e-courses and getting them ready to launch. When they did, they totally flopped but I learned SO much from the process. Including the fact that all this time, I wasn’t really honing in on what I was doing in the first place. I was doing EVERYTHING under the sun to see what stuck and -shocker- nothing did. But, I really enjoyed creating the e-course and being able to teach the skills I’ve learned. I’m revamping the free course now so that it’s even more helpful for everyone!
One of the things I started (and never completed) in 2018 was cleaning up my house. I started doing it around March but then kinda got sidetracked doing “all the things”. And yet, nothing at all. Everything felt like a race against time before Hailey came, and I was trying to do so much that, in the end, absolutely nothing got done.
Fast-forward to September 28, 2018 and sweet Hailey Irini made her debut. It was one of the hardest and easiest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. The best and worst moments. The post-partum blues are no joke and they knocked me out for a few weeks. But I suddenly started to get immense clarity after Hailey was born. It was like the fog had lifted and I could finally see everything in a new way. I saw my faults, my strengths, my purpose, and where I wanted my life to go. It was absolutely astounding and of course, it didn’t come all at once. But I guess spending a lot of time reflecting will do that to ya. It almost felt like an entire year of reflection.
The word of 2018 probably would have been growth.
There was plenty of it. Physical growth, as my body stretched and nourished my baby. Spiritual growth, as I began to ponder the meaning of my life, and what I wanted it to look like in the future. And family growth, as we welcomed a new member. And overall, I felt the love grow. Love from our family and friends, from myself to my baby, and a new love for my husband.
By the end of 2018, I felt like I knew exactly what was holding me back and what needed to change.
In the past, I felt like I did everything “just because”. Nothing had a real purpose. I couldn’t tell you why I did things or where exactly I was going. But now, I feel like I really know what I need to do and what’s important to me. I hopped off that work-work-work treadmill that was getting me nowhere. I finally understood that busy does not equal productive. I’m pushing for financial growth this year, because I’d really love this blog to be my primary source of income. I also want passive income, because I don’t want to live project to project, paycheck to paycheck. It’s not a sustainable method for my life.
In 2019, the word I’d like to guide me is intention.
My goal is to know exactly why I’m doing the things I am, not just doing them because some guru told me to. Having faith in myself to create my own path, and knowing exactly where it’s taking me. I’m getting off that tradmill- this year, I’m really going places.
So, what’s in store for 2019? Well, I’d love to refresh our home. I want to update our decor and tidy up (FYI- I liked the KonMari method before it was cool). I want to DIY things with a purpose- fun home decor, crafts for the baby and things to wear. I think one of the biggest things that I’m excited about is improving my photography. It’s something I’ve been working on for the past 3+ years now and I’m ready to go from hobbyist to “pro”. I mastered my blog and DIY photography but now I want to get into more lifestyle photography, room setups, self portraits, etc.
I think the biggest change I have going into 2019 is an unshakable faith in myself. For so long, I thought I needed someone else to help me succeed. I bought courses, listened to others tell me how to run my business (I mean... what?!), looked for every secret trick and surefire way to success. And I failed miserably. For 3 years!!! Simply because I wasn’t looking at the one and only person that could bring me success- myself. Maybe it was the labor and childbirth, or the fact that I’m raising and (almost solely) responsible for another human... but I finally feel like I can do anything. I don’t need someone else guiding the way- I can figure it out for myself and get help as needed. I’m not a lost cause in need of saving. I won’t let anyone else steer this ship. I have faith in myself to get to where I need to be.
There are probably going to be some changes around here, but they may not be that noticeable to other people. I’d like to see it as the blog growing up, sort of like I have. DIYs are here to stay, since they’re my favorite. New, fun topics are coming too. And I’m going to spend time teaching and giving back, as much as I can. Another big change is coming that I can’t talk about quite yet but I’ll share more about it next week. Overall, life is good and I’m ready to take on 2019!